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Dating culture

The behaviour exhibited and the language used on dating sites could be expected to indicate at least to some extent the status of gender equality in a culture. One of my expat (expatriate, ie euphemistically called foreign talent) colleagues notified me about an expat site where you can find some discussions on the unbearable lightness as well as the difficulties of being an expat in this culture, plus a lot of useful hints & advice. When clicking around the site I found this dating department - and of course I had to check it out ;-)

Even if the site is supposedly intended for expats, male & female, most women on the site are actually not expats but local women apparently looking for expat men - because they are divorced from, disappointed with or just fed up with local men, because they want to date someone who speaks proper English, or because they want someone to support them economically; which one is is hard to tell.

A few observations though concerning the group of women (and men) roughly my own age
- moslem and indian women seem to be very underrepresented - not surprisingly - so the largest group of women on this site are chinese christians or buddhists, the second biggest group being residential foreigners
- most of the women are looking for a permanent relationship, a partner for life and/or preferably marriage; marriage still seems to be a holy cow in this society and being married and visiting a dating site is apparently experienced as immoral
- age seems to be a problem especially for women & so the age reported in the profile may not be the real - in one empirically studied case a deduction of 8 years made the whole difference between no answers and a lot of answers
- a very brief survey showed that
- - most men want to date a woman 9-23 years younger (average -15 years)
- - most women want to date a man 6 years younger to 6 years older (average same age)
- most of the men on the site seem to want just sex & to have fun & apparently express this right away in their first emails to the women they contact, thus turning (at least part of) them off
- also there seems to be a clear distinction between the profiles of men & women:
- - a man describes very briefly what he does for a living and then describes what woman he wants and that a photo is important
- - a woman describes herself or how friends describe her, what she likes and what turns her on (or off)

So nothing really new under the sun, actually, concerning gender. A cultural aspect may be that most eurasian men (as Europeans are called here) reportedly tend to consider Asian women exotic and more 'feminine' and less 'feminist' and hence more attractive for a macho ego in search for a subservient 'partner'.